Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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