**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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