A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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