I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
