so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
