don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
