dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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