At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
