She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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