I'm really into asian looking animals
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
