I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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