i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
