dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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