there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
