We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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