My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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