can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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