so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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