i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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