Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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