her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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