Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
