We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
