i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
