i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
