Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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