Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
