shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
