I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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