what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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