Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
