I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
