Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
