I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
