She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
