I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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