I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
