Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
