This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
