I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
