U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
