We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
