the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
