Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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