Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it's like iHOP with fire
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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