I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
