You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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