let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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