Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
