oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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