Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
