my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We have started to decorate penises.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
