I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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