Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
